1.19.2024

Mood color: Mac n cheese orange

This is my little get away spot to come to wen I need to get away for a few. Things are going well. Currently I have pogo out of his cage and flying around watching birds from a live feed. He doesn't like the other parakeets much he would rather watch wild birds. Blue jays are his favorite. Over the summer when we bird watch outside his eyes would get so big and he would yell to me like Dad did you see that? Yes I did pogo that's a blue jay. By the day he gets smarter. Ive had him almost a year now and here lately in the last few weeks he has really made a lot of progress in his training. He even puts himself back in his cage when he's done. Proud bird dad. 

    Been enrolled in school a few weeks now..already ahead but taking this module on animal.restraint a little slower so I retain the information good. Still have some cats, exotics, and farm animals to cover. My friend Linda ordered me a text book to help me.on the side bc not everything is covered in my class and I want to do some side reading of my own I am very appreciative of the book and will use it often..that's the one thing I hate about these classes is there is no book and I'm having to print a lot of notes out. Guess I'll keep stocked up on ink too. Bc the way I've been doing it has been helpful and I aced my second test with a 95% A GO ME!

      I've been learning a balance. School. Play..home life. Social life. Self care. It's not easy and I wasn't even sure what went into the category of self care when I first started but I'm getting better about it. I need to review my reiki notes and do a healing session on myself. May do that this weekend. And an aura cleanse to start the week. Maybe I'll do that on Sundays and make it a habit..that's a good idea bc it is very helpful to me. I've also been doing a daily tarot reading with y new Egyptian style tarot cards I feel more connected to. I do diamond paintings sometimes I'm working on a crow now but have a king tut one I really want to do when I'm done with the crow..I don't work on it every night but I guess some progress is better than none and I have a lot of hobbies as one person. I also occasionally listen and play with my police scanner. Still have a lot of frequencies to scan through and figure out. Need to print off a list of frequencies. It's a cool hobby I used to do it all the time years ago so it's nice to have a old hobby back. And I like my two way radio bc well it's mine..

     A year ago this month I lost everything I had to my ex and had to start with nothing. I am grateful for what I do have now and thankful for the winds of change giving me a much better opportunity where I can grow and thrive and be the best version of myself. Truly at peace with myself and my mind and direction in life. Sometimes bad things happen to make way for the better. Poo agrees he just said wee I bet he is gonna fly around the room in a second. He's really getting I down and was doing flips in the air and dipping and diving with his flight.its amazing to see. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

    With the help of family, friends, pogo and other animals as well as my bird and squirrel friends I feed I have truly made a comeback and I confident in where I am in life. I still have anxiety when it comes to people..I've been hurt so much by them that it's hard to reconnect with them especially when you are used to doing everything yourself anyways. But at least the job gets done.

     I recently ha COVID over the holidays and it really through me for a loop but I'm much better and still on the mend. I have been allowing myself to rest and recover which is huge for me b I never do. In February I plan to start at the bird farm volunteering and learning more about birds which is my goal. I would like to specialize in the area of avian medicine I think that would be a great opportunity and I'd really enjoy it. Birds saved my life and I want to save theirs. 

       I see my therapist once a week and my case manager almost daily. She's a great lady and has helped me so much. She's truly been a blessing and I appreciate her so much. She's really taught me a lot and I've got to meet all of her animals. Her doggo had a dino sweater on today and it was the cutest thing ever. 

    Thanks to the support of my cousin Penny and my friend Linda I feel loved and cared for and needed and like I belong on this earth and have peoole who care about me. That's a nice feeling. To be loved. 🥰

     So glad my darkness has left and I can finally see the light....we'll be the light in this dim world we live in today. 

Will write more later.