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Good morning self. Hope you have a good start to your day and get everything accomplished you need to. School on the agenda today. Gotta study my notes for my test. 67 pages of definitions alone. Very in depth lots to know. Then a project soon. Have therapy today. Gotta message her and find out what time. Hopefully It's a good session and I get out everything I need too. Meet with my case manager this morning. We do skill building everyday. It's very helpful. Yesterday we explored the emotion of anger. It's hard for me to describe or identify my emotions bc of trauma response. 

   Dog is still without meds. They get filled later today though. Poor guys on one bc of not having his meds. I just wish there was something I could do for him. I try everything Reiki, massage, outdoor time, treats, taking him out, play time. Just sometimes it's not enough. It's okay though he can't help it. And I love him no matter what. I just hate I haven't been able to take him on many walks bc he pulls and my shoulder is bad. But I guess I do what I can anyways. 

   Coffee is good this morning. Fresh and hot. Off to tackle the day. This really helps instead of messaging my friend and I have this to come back to. Bbl.

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It's 4:22 and what a day I've had. I feel like I should get more done in a day. Maybe I'm just hard on myself. But at least everything gets done that needs done. I keep going to bed earlier hoping it will stop this exhausting feeling. But I think it's pain wearing me out bc my shoulders been so bad that it's hard to turn my neck side to side. Blah. Always something. 

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Well another day is winding down to an end. Didn't get much accomplished. I tended to the dog and bird and they got their time. I met with my case manager and therapist. Therapist says I'm doing good and case manager encouraged Me to write my letter to my ex. So I did. 6 pages. Got to say goodbye to the dog and cat in it and promised them I'd always love them and turned my life over to the animals and would provide every animal I see with the same love I gave to them in their honor. That made me feel good. It took forever for the letter to burn and the last thing that burnt was their name. I thought that was a beautiful way to end it and see them finally burn away. Very symbolic and the universe never fails to impress. Closure. Feels good but was mentally exhausting writing it all out. Took a nap after therapy. Actually slept and didn't just lay there lik3 I've been doing bc I believe the pain is wearing me out. My neck hurts a lot and it hurts to move my head side to side. I really need to invest in a heating pad that's cordless they sell them on Amazon but with Christmas coming up and needing to save for pogos vet appointment I just don't think it's do able. But I'll budget and see. That's on my to do list too. Listening to some calming music now. Got my message from my hormone Dr and my shots are approved. Just gotta call the pharmacy to see where the process is for the prescription. Makes me feel good to know I'll be back on Injections. They work quicker anyways. I have some new side burns coming in pretty excited about that. I used to have side burns coming in but the beautician shaved them off without asking. I have always wanted my side hair to come in. I'll feel more confident and like myself again. Hair is starting to grow more to the length I want it too. I made a big mistake cutting it off I really liked my hair. Oh well it's just hair and it will grow lol. Brother gave me some new rings. They are pretty cool. Ones the ace of spades and ones an 8 ball and another's a snake. pretty cool and kind of him to think of me. I'm feeling pretty tired. Gotta do my gratitude journal and make my to do list before bed. And boy am I ready to go to bed. Need to study my definitions too. Took the day off of school to write my letter to my ex and got to spend a brief moment in alcatraz after. Today was about healing and I needed that more. Change in schedule too bc I'm getting tired of the same thing different day. I think for Halloween I'm gonna have a bon fire during the day if it isn't rainy or windy and have some apple cider and watch nightmare before Christmas with pogo. Sounds nice to me that way I can say I did something for Halloween. And it's a change in routine and something to look forward to anyways. 

Off to do this gratitude journal and make my to do list. Read to pogo and go to bed. Nite!

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