13.

Today was a long day but a good day. Got a lot accomplished. Not as much studying as I would have liked but some is better than none. I had my case manager today. We are working on an anger workbook and it really has my brain turning and exercise homework to do so I'm trying to put it into my schedule as best as possible. Still been doing my gratitude journal. I really think it helps me focus on the good. I'm around my friend a lot and she's very negative and so a little positivity is good for me. Pogo had fly time today. Found out he enjoys watching other parakeets on the TV. Gets up close to them and watches them. As seen in the picture. He used to be afraid of other parakeets on the TV but not anymore. So we bird watched and had music therapy. And of course bedtime stories. Huck was on one today with his anxiety I think bc he knew my dad didn't feel good. Dad had his procedure today. Results pending. He took his anger out on the dog telling him he has a week to straighten up and if he don't he's gone. Part of me worries it's true but I don't think dad would ever do that and just doesn't feel good but you never know anymore. Dog is afraid of my dad and sat in my lap for a bit bc he was freaked out bc of the yelling. I got him calm though. I really just wish I could help huck. I have tried reiki and massage and outdoor time on a play schedule and a regular schedule. I do everything I can with him but I feel like I failed him sometimes bc w.e  I'm doing its just not enough. Poor baby can't help it. It does get frustrating at times but he's worth it. So after my dad said what he did my anger increased bc he made some other sparky remarks. And I just told myself he wasn't worth it. I took the dog out. Went to my room and chill3d and hit out in my bunker on fortnite (my account away from everyone where I can hide out and not be bothered) I filled out the anger workbook page for a situation and how I felt and what I did etc. I did my gratitude blog and to do list for tomorrow. Anger got better after taking some time for myself and playing fortnite. So I think I handled it well. Normally I let it trigger me. But I'm not backing down anymore. Tomorrow is a new day. Had therapy today too.  Was a good session. Tomorrow I have to meet w my case manager, study, fill up my pills do some laundry and need to brush huck and let him out in alcatraz a bit. Hopefully neighbors moms dog isn't out so huck can enjoy his time in the yard. Sitting here by candlelight writing this. May try to read a book by candlelit one day soon. For now it's off to bed. 🖤🐦🦅