28.

So idk what to do with myself right now. Got pogo out he is bird watching I'll turn music on in a bit and sing to him when he gets tired of the other birds. 

    Was only gonna do 1 essay question a day but finished all 4 today. Woot! Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Hoping I pass. Bc idk what I could have done wrong if I don't. We shall see. Also printed some notes for class. Found it easier to print directly from their page instead of copying and pasting and making my own notes. This is easier and I can highline what's important. And use them for the test. About the same amount of pages 9n average too and less time consuming and I'll have them all in hand. Just don't like that the writing is smaller but I'm sure I'll do fine just wear my glasses. So that saved a lot of time today. Got to install a new ink cartridge bc I ran out half way through so I have more notes to print when dad installs it bc I didn't Wana break it trying to put it in. Lol. That printer is my lifeline for school. For sure. I hate not having textbooks. 

   I may be able to print off my notes in advance before surgery so I can still read them when the time comes and I heal. Gonna take some time to heal though and I'm gonna take off school for a bit to heal. Hoping I can at least read and hold a book though I like to highline as I read so guess I'm gonna have to get used to doing it w my left hand. Tried today and its harder and takes longer but I can still do it. 

  The thing that worries me most about surgery is feeding my birds and squirrels. I'm hoping I can do that. Bc it's my religion and I just don't want it taken away from me. But if I set up a feeder station in the garage somehow where I don't have to bend and is more accessible and have dad open the bags for me when I need to open a new bag. That way I can just use my left arm to scoop seed into my bucket. I'll have to make a project like that bc the birds help me heal.

Music time for pogo be back

**********

Went to the dentist. Bone needs shaved down on top some. For my dentures to fit and be comfortable. Then currently a partial plate won't fit my bottom teeth so I have to get some bone shaved there and something snipped he said. Couldn't really understand him. Elected to do it under a local anesthetic bc if I Elected sedation it could have been longer waiting time. Surgery is scheduled for February 5th. So that's about 2.5 weeks away after my shoulder surgery. Hope I heal well from two things at once and don't freak out while doing it not under sedation. But I'll take a nerve pill and edible and hope it passes. Really gonna have to start working on quitting smoking completely bc I'm tired of it anyways. These pouches help its just I like to go outside and have that moment at peace with nature. Maybe more trips for air breaks? Idk gotta come up with a plan. Gonna work on that.

    Shoulder surgery has Me freaked out bc mom and dad are down and out too. I'm gonna have to ask for things and need help. I already try and do everything now to make it easier on them. Dad works hard and is sick and mom doesn't do much. I know I'll have to ask for things like my pills filled. Shower assistance. Opening things all the time. And maybe opening a bag of bird seed here and there. Afraid of the backlash of what could happen the angry remarks I'll get and the yelling. I'd really rather have a nurse come in but mom and dad won't have it. And the dog would freak out the whole time anyways. Idk what I'm gonna do about the dog when I have surgery. I'm his main support. He looks to me to take him out. Dad just throws him out the door. I let him go out in the yard. It wouldn't be bad but he weighs about 8olbs and pulls on the leash. Idk how that will go with my shoulder even walking him with my left arm. It's gonna suck. And then I won't be able to get in the floor as much to calm the dog down and get on his level. Just anxiety about the yelling. Really not looking forward to it. Trying to prepare with things I can do ahead of time as I go.