Its All In My Head

Happy Halloween. Didn't get to do anything for Halloween this year but pogo and I last year watched the nightmare before Christmas and read poes work and tonight we are gonna do the same. So it's our tradition now. Should make for a peaceful evening. Waiting on my case manager to call now. I think we are talking about distortive thinking patterns today. Then I have school work today I'm really struggling learning and hope my psychiatrist when I see them can increase my adhd meds. Got chores to do today too if it doesn't rain much I need to pooper scoop the yard and pick up sticks. By the time I get to have my me time I'm tired from my shoulder pain and just do my to do list and go to bed. Haven't even been reading for myself. Just ready to hit the pillow. Been running myself ragged trying to take care of the dog and house so no one can bitch. I just want peace and no bitching. So I'm doing everything to keep shit calm. Been pricing heating pads and hoping I ...

Good morning.  Went to bed early and woke up early bc the doggo needed out. Was hoping to get some extra sleep in there but oh well. I've just been really tired lately and I'm blaming it on pain. New kind of pain in my shoulder and it doesn't feel too good. It's the middle of the week. Tomorrow is Halloween. Was gonna have a fire but it is supposed to rain. I guess pogo and I will just watch our movie. It will prob be nightmare before Christmas. I think he will like the music and drink some apple cider. Got the doggo on my bed currently and Halloween lofi on for pogo. Gotta do some laundry and a few chores, call the pharmacy and start studying my notes for my test. Still haven't heard from the psychiatrist as to when I meet with them. Hoping I don't run out of pills before then. They said they won't make me go without but I'm afraid that's gonna happen and I've been trying to make an appointment for 3 weeks now. Case manager meets with me every m...

Good morning self. Hope you have a good start to your day and get everything accomplished you need to. School on the agenda today. Gotta study my notes for my test. 67 pages of definitions alone. Very in depth lots to know. Then a project soon. Have therapy today. Gotta message her and find out what time. Hopefully It's a good session and I get out everything I need too. Meet with my case manager this morning. We do skill building everyday. It's very helpful. Yesterday we explored the emotion of anger. It's hard for me to describe or identify my emotions bc of trauma response.     Dog is still without meds. They get filled later today though. Poor guys on one bc of not having his meds. I just wish there was something I could do for him. I try everything Reiki, massage, outdoor time, treats, taking him out, play time. Just sometimes it's not enough. It's okay though he can't help it. And I love him no matter what. I just hate I haven't been able to take him o...

Okay so I'm gonna try this talking to myself thing bc I don't want to use the help of my friend anymore. She just wants to talk about herself. Is using me just for someone to talk to at night and manipulative. Always wanting to sue. And very negative. She's a narcissistic just like her mother. Anyways. Lol. Right now I have pogo out for his fly time. Got some school work done today. Have 67 pages of notes to study for my test. Did the last module today now it's just the test. The next chapter is a proj3ct. Not sure what that entails yet. Gonna get a shower in a bit after taking the dog out. He's done well not having his Ativan today thankfully. The vet is gonna fill it soon. I've been trying to do everything in my power to keep him from whining and barking bc then my parents start and get upset and I just don't want to hear it and don't need the yelling so I just do whatever I can to make him calm as possible.  Been taking little breaks to alcatraz every...