Its All In My Head

Not much to say today. Had a good day. Got all Xmas shopping done. And under budget woot! Spent some bonding time with pogo he gets close to me now when I talk or sing to him. He's trusting me more by the day. Our schedule helps too. He had a good bath and cage cleaning today. Now we are chillen. Maybe write more tomorrow. Kinda just want to chill. 

Headed to Michigan with dad. About an hour and a half away. Edibles are more cheaper there so it will be worth our Money for sure. Long trip though. Wicked was good yesterday and a nice change in pace for a holiday. Dinner was good too. Didn't meet w my case mmanager today bc of being out of town. Gotta order my things I need online and make another budget. Ordered my Xmas cards already. Gotta get addresses to send cards out. Few gifts to buy and Gotta mail out Linda's package. I'm glad I can do that for her and her fur babies. Been doing my self care app finch it's amazing and helps me so much..Gotta do payday errands. Already have my list made. Love my digital apps. Just have to charge phone more. This is my safe haven though and I love the format minus my pictures are.sideways which sucks but oh well it's worth it to have it all in one place.  **********

Had a good Thanksgiving. Watched the Macy's day parade with pogo, saw the movie wicked, ate some good food, and had enough popcorn left over from the movies to give my bird and squirrel friends a special treat for Thanksgiving. Boy did they gobble it up too. Was gifted with the caws of two crows today in my yard. I don't often see crows in my yard and they are one of my favorites so I took it as a sign the universe/birds are thankful for me just as much as I am them. Now pogo and I are off to bed. 🖤🐦🦅

Don't really feel like writing much today. But doing this so my self care pet can level up. Love the new finch self care pet it's so helpful and awesome and so are all the alarms and digital apps I downloaded for to do lists and notes. Made my life a lot easier just have to charge my phone more. Free government phone came today got it all set up and ready to go as a backup phone just in case. Didn't meet w my case manager today bc she couldn't meet till later and I had to tend to the doggo. That's okay though a day break from skill building is nice too. It's been a nice break from school. Been studying my bird shamanism book I really love it. It's pretty cool stuff and stories from native Americans in it. I'd like to find out more abou5 my heritage for sure. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Gonna go see the movie wicked in theaters and eat some good food and have a relaxing day out. Friday me and dad may go to Michigan to the dispensaries bc it's cheaper. T...

Waiting on my cousin to pick up my nephew. Got a lot accomplished today and feeling pretty calm minus dealing w my friend. I've tried to stay away from the negativity and love her from a distance though. She's going through a tough time and always bitching about something and never listens to anything I have to say. Only cares about herself. Very narcissistic and sue happy. I hate her situation I do but I can't save the world and I've tried all I can to help her. Tonight I know she's gonna Wana talk but I just can't go it. I need some time for myself. Gonna look at my new book and maybe read some of it and play some video games.      Decided to take the break off of school for this week. I need a week to recover after the low blow of a test I just had. Thankfully I passed but I'm burnt out and it discouraged me a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not smart enough but then again this school.goes very in depth with what you need to do and while most of i...

The situation w the dog is just escalating bc he keeps getting worse by the day. I used my last money to get the dog hemp treats bc he was out and these are supposed to be stronger. Should be here Monday. I've tried walking the dog w my left arm but I know when I have surgery for the first few days I really shouldn't take him out at all. But he has Me up and down. Anytime he sees I have a moment to sit or look at my phone he starts barking nonstop. I try everything like a baby. I try to take him out. I try his toy. Treats. Alcatraz time. Massages. Sit in the floor with him. Reiki. Sing to him. But he's barking is getting worse. Dad don't feel well and is losing his job. Will have to start working from home and that's gonna be even worse on me and the dog. Mom has said he may have to be put down bc he won't do well w another family. Dad keeps throwing books at him or threatening him that he will be a dead dog. Or he does things like clip the leash to the front do...

Went to the doctor today. A1C is down to 7!! Woot! Now I've been seizure free, cut back smoking, and have my diabetes under control so I can get the surgery I really need on my shoulder. Gotta call the surgeon to schedule with them to see the next step. Took my t shot today and my diabetic shot w food this time so my sugar don't drop like it did last time. Got the doggo in my bed chillen. He had some alcatraz time, been played with, gave a massage, had his meds and been out so he is good to go for a while. Got my bird bath clean. Raking feeder can wait another week. Studied over 25 pages of notes for my test. 10 more pages and I'll be done with the notes. Want to take my test sometime before Friday. Then focus on my project. Have case manager and therapy tomorrow. Should have prescriptions to pick up in next few days. Need to see when my next psychiatrist appointment is too. I believe it's some time this month anyways. Phone has a lar...

My little handsome beaker had a good cage cleaning and shower yesterday. He is currently birb watching other parakeets. His molting has stopped with showers and a molting supplement. I know it's uncomfortable for him but I try my best. Got a second pot of coffee on and it's delicious. Having a cup with pogo. Our friend Linda didn't have seed for her bird blue and couldn't find his type of food anyways so we ordered her some from chewy. It should be there in a few days. I'd like to be able to do more for her bc I know she's going through a tough time but I do what I can. I can't save the world. Gonna send them some nice Christmas gifts for her and the animals. That way they have a good Christmas since they probably will be alone. It's the least I can do for all she has done for me. Her friendship and calls mean a lot to me and I know she would do the same for me if she could.      Feeling a little under the weather. Need to clean t...

Been having a tough time. Today after talking to my case manager and opening up a bit bc I've been very guarded and still am. I feel a bit better. Waiting on my dad to get here so I can go get my hair cut and some nicotine pouches from the store. Don't really feel like going out but I know it needs done. I'm hoping this depression phase passes and I can keep going. It's always easier to get things done when you don't feel depressed. If only it were as easy as choosing to be happy. I'm trying like he'll though and using all the tools in my toolbox. Getting a little burnt out on everything and the situation w the dog is just escalating and I'm preparing for the worst. Trying to keep the peace has really had me stressing. But at least at night I can shut my door and have pogo and me time. Have tried to talk to my friend the last few days but end up getting off the phone quick bc I can...

Good morning. Meet w my case manager this morning. Didn't want to get up today. Feel pretty tired. Need to knock out a bunch of studying today where I didn't yesterday. Need to do laundry and fill up my pills and hopefully give huck some alcatraz time if the neighbors mother doesn't have her dog out and pogo some fly time. I'll be back later when I'm more awake. Guess I just don't have much to say right now. ******** Waiting for fortnite to download the new update and hoping to play a round for my "recess". Got the dog out to alcatraz for some outdoor time. Got pogo out for a bit and he bird watched and sang a bit. He enjoyed it. Feeling a bit down today. I think I'm tired but I've been making sure i get enough sleep it just doesn't seem to be enough. May be my blood sugars which have been tanking but I don't have a good appetite currently and can only eat what sounds good which is mostly liquids. BRB gotta take ...

Today was a long day but a good day. Got a lot accomplished. Not as much studying as I would have liked but some is better than none. I had my case manager today. We are working on an anger workbook and it really has my brain turning and exercise homework to do so I'm trying to put it into my schedule as best as possible. Still been doing my gratitude journal. I really think it helps me focus on the good. I'm around my friend a lot and she's very negative and so a little positivity is good for me. Pogo had fly time today. Found out he enjoys watching other parakeets on the TV. Gets up close to them and watches them. As seen in the picture. He used to be afraid of other parakeets on the TV but not anymore. So we bird watched and had music therapy. And of course bedtime stories. Huck was on one today with his anxiety I think bc he knew my dad didn't feel good. Dad had his procedure today. Results pending. He took his anger o...

Good afternoon. Didn't start my day with one of these. Been a busy morning. Got some studying done. 20 pages. There's close to 70 pages but I figure if I can knock out 20 pages a day I'll be able to take my test starting Friday. Next module is an essay paper so that shouldn't be too bad. I'm good at writing papers. It's on evolution.     Case manager and I are working through an anger management workbook. Printed it out and filled out today's lessons and my anger thermometer for the day. I'm so thankful mybcase manager meets with me daily and all the skills I've obtained from her.       Pogo got an hour of fly time. Opened up the top of his cage and he liked going up there to bird watch. He even checked out his playground I've had forever that he never has used yet. Put parakeets on the TV today and he went nuts over them. So have to do that more too. Normally we just watch wild birds but he sure did like a change with parakeets today...

Good morning. Woke up feeling tired and unmotivated. Feel a bit better after coffee and meds kicked in. Got all the animals taken care of. Got lots of chores to do today. Clean the bathroom. Clean the kitchen. Clean the living room. Take all trash down for trash day and clean pogos cage and give him a shower and clean my room. Hopefully get a minute to study notes. I've been neglecting it for a few days had a lot to do and changes in plans. Need to look and see what my project is gonna be like for the n3xt module. Not sure if it's a paper or PowerPoint or what yet. Also need to see what time my Dr apt is the 18th and make a list of meds I need. Off to do chor3s and finish my coffee with pogo bbl ******** Some of my bird collection pictured above. Got all my chores done today. Even got some bonding time with pogo. He was out for quite a while today. I just let him go back in when he wanted to and we enjoyed our time together. Ive been closing my door at 6pm and spend...

Good morning. Sitting next to pogos cage in my new chair spot. I like being next to him as possible. Shutting my door at 6 and having time with pogo has been nice. We get chill time together that way. Kinda like my own apartment when I shut my door. Bonding time with him is nice. Need to clean his cage and give him a shower. Gonna do that and my weekend chores tomorrow. Gotta clean my bird bath too. Birds and squirrels are loving their treat bell. A treat for the universe =]    Today I'm watching my meow-phews while my brother is in Michigan. He is gonna get me some edibl3s for doing it. Gotta make sure that they are fed at 4 and then I can come home and tend to my animals and feed the birds. Gonna bring my notes and switch over to keep me busy and of course get some kitty loving. Love cats. This all got through at me last minute but I'm handling it well and will enjoy the alone time for sure.     Gotta go at 10:30 to fill up ...

Good morning. Leave here in 30 minutes to get fitted for my dentures. Can't wait to have teeth. I hate the way I look without teeth. Now I'll be able to do tiktok videos like I like and not be embarrassed. Woot! Wonder how long it will take for dentures to come in. Hopefully not too long. It would be nice to have them within a week or so for sure. Brushed my teeth and fed the birds and squirrels. Put a treat bell out there that I finally found string for while decluttering my room. Hope they enjoy it. A baby bird was napping in my feeder when I went out and listened to me talk to him for a while so cute. Met with my case manager this morning we discussed my life purpose which is to help animals bc they saved my life and helped me overcome trauma and I owe my life to them. Turning my life over to the birds and animals is what gave me a purpose and I'm here to serve them. A life debt. Bc they saved my life. Thankful to finally have found my purpose. Got all my notes highlight...

Good morning. Having some coffee. Didn't do one of these in a bit so figured I would. It's 6:47 and I've been up since 3am playing fortnite. I never get to play so it was nice to be able to do that. I went to bed before 8 so I got plenty of sleep. Gifted my nephew the skin pack he wanted. I've probably spent $60 on him since last month. But I told him that's it till after Christmas. He has a birthday next month too I have to get a gift for. Blah. Money hungry holidays. At least I bought most of my Christmas this month. And it's nice I can do a little something for the people I need to.      Got back on my adhd meds and they have already made an amazing difference. My depression is better. Pain is better. And I can focus and get everything done I need to. So thankful for them. Got my nerve pills back too and I'm hoping to quit edibles bc I don't want people thinking I have a substance abuse problem and they are expensive and they make me hungry and I need...

Good morning. Didn't get a lot accomplished yesterday but did get some extra rest. Today is yard work and a shower. And making a few calls I need to and getting my prescriptions filled. Hopefully they call in my nerve pill and my adhd meds. Adhd meds will probably take a few days for a prior Auth. Need to check on testosterone Injections too. Shouldn't take this long but it has. Annoying how the system works. Hopefully insurance will cover the Injections. Need to call the dentist too bc they canceled my appointment bc they are short of staff. 

Good morning. Got a lot done yesterday. Body felt it and so I went to bed early. Time changed so it gets light earlier. Fed my birds and squirrels at 7am bc it was light out and my blue Jay's were right there and thanking me for their nuts. They like to sleep in usually but maybe now with the time change they will get their nuts before all the squirrels. I feed them 3x a day. Today I need to clean my feeder logs and bird baths. I knocked out the rest of my to do list yesterday so not as much to do today. I filled out my benzo and stimulant contracts for my mental health agency and my meds should be called in on Monday woot! So happy to be back on my adhd pill and nerve pills. Win for the books. I'll be able to have my life more organized and be able to study and comprehend what I'm studying yay!!! That's really been bugging me bc I'm not a C average student and normally get As when on the right meds. This biology is very in depth and has had me at times very overwhe...

Good morning. Today is a new day. Yesterday I got some good news. My psychiatrist put me back on my adhd meds that work. Yay! That's been my issue is not having my adhd meds. I've really struggled in school. Getting a c average and that is not me. I'm an A B student. I have to fill out the contract for the stimulant and for my nerve pill which is a benzo. So after I do that by Monday they should call in my meds! Yay! I'm so glad I advocated for myself and got what I needed. My life will be so much better now!!!!      Having coffee now with pogo. Got his cage cleaned and his new mirror in. He hasn't checked it out yet but hopefully he will. He doesn't like change. He is so smart though talks a lot and loves to spend time with me. I love our time together too. He is my soul bird. He got a shower yesterday too. Didn't Wana go back in his cage and I needed to vacuum so I tricked him by putting the TV on a fire and reading to him which he knows is a signal for be...